» HOME » CROSSKIT.COM » Jokes / One Liners

CrossKit.com : Jokes/One Liners


Category: Advertising
Reader Rating: 5.00
Contributor: admin
Views: 724


Rate This Item


Hilarious

Good

Average

Poor

Nasty
Classified Ads

1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer

2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 weeks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Alzheimer's Center prepares for an affair to remember.

And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Not much to start out, but a huge pay raise ...
Salary: 23k to start. 401k after 1 yr.

Bill's Septic Cleaning. "We haul American made products."

Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Cows, calves never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

Dinner Special:
Turkey
$2.35
Chicken or Beef
$2.25
Children
$2.00

Dog for Sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.

Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress & box springs - $175.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

For Sale: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

For Sale: 3 canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale: 8 puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be reward.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Free puppies: 1/2 Cocker spaniel. 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

Free puppies: Part German shepherd. Part stupid dog.

Free Yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog.

Georgia peaches. California grown - 89 cents lb.

German Shepherd. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Great Dames for sale.

Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Hummels - largest selection ever. "If it's in stock, we have it!"

Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer & dryer. $300

Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Man, honest. Will take anything.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Nice parachute: Never opened - used once.
Nordic track $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Open House
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free coffee & donuts

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our sofa seats the whole mob.
And it's made of 100% Italian leather.

Semi-annual after-Christmas Sale.

Shakespeare's Pizza - free chopsticks.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowsy days.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Tickle Me Elmo. Still in box. Comes with its own 1988 Mustang 5L auto. Excellent condition. $6800.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7-$9 per hour.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.

Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

Wanted: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.





Share This Item:   StumbleUpon   del.icio.us   Reddit   Bookmark4You   digg   Furl   Spurl   Simpy   YahooMyWeb


Email this item to a friend

Your email address:
Your friends address:
Recieve updates in your email.    

 



 

 

PUZZLES
PARTNERS
CROSSKIT.COM