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Morons and Idiots
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The Official Moron Test
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?
11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
Here are the answers:
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
...Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
....One (1). You can only be born once.
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.
4. How many outs are there in an inning?
... Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.
5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
...No. He must be dead if it is his widow.
6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
.... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.
7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
.Two (2). You take two apples, therefore YOU have TWO apples.
8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
.....One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.
9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
.... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.
10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
..... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.
11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
.... Meat ... that is selfexplanatory.
12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
..Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? Twelve. It's a dozen.
13. What was the President's name in 1960?
..Georgw W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.

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