» HOME » CROSSKIT.COM » Jokes / One Liners

CrossKit.com : Jokes/One Liners


Category: Medical
Reader Rating: 4.00
Contributor: admin
Views: 578


Rate This Item


Hilarious

Good

Average

Poor

Nasty
Hospital Chart Notations
* The patient refused autopsy.

* The patient has no previous history of suicides.

* Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

* She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

* On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

* The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

* The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

* Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

* Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

* Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

* She is numb from her toes down.

* While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

* The skin was moist and dry.

* Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

* Patient was alert and unresponsive.

* Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

* She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

* I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

* Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

* Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

* Skin: somewhat pale but present.

* The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

* Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.




Share This Item:   StumbleUpon   del.icio.us   Reddit   Bookmark4You   digg   Furl   Spurl   Simpy   YahooMyWeb


Email this item to a friend

Your email address:
Your friends address:
Recieve updates in your email.    

 



 

 

PUZZLES
PARTNERS
Emergency Essentials
CROSSKIT.COM