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* - Sign at a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

* - Sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

* - Sign at a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

* - Sign At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank heaven for little grills."

* - Sign At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

* - Sign At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

* - Sign At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

* - Sign At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will
be."

* - Sign In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

* - Sign In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

* - Sign In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

* - Sign In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

* - Sign In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

* - Sign On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

* - Sign On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

* - Sign On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

* - Sign On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

* - Sign On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

* - Sign On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

* - Sign On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."

* - Sign On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

* - Sign On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

* - Sign Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

* - Sign Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

* - Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

* - Sign over an Automotive Body Shop: "Let's not meet by accident." 




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