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* - "City fathers were hoping to raise enough money to erect a new bronze statue of the Duck of Wellington." - BBC commentator

* - "Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."- British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea.

* - "I don't think the Republicans can damage my character"- Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

* - "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

* - "It's nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he'll bring a drill or something."- Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college.

* - "Life is very important to Americans."- Bob Dole, U.S. Senator from Kansas

* - "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."- Bill Peterson, football coach

* - "Most hotels are already booked solid by people, plus 5,000 journalists." - Bangkok Post

* - "Next up is the Central African Republic located in central Africa."- Bob Costas, during the parade of nations in the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, Australia

* - "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."- Budapest Zoo sign

* - "Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."- Bill Clinton, former U.S. president

* - "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

* - "The internet is a great way to get on the net."- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

* - "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." - Barbara Boxer, Senator

* - "Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

* - "Where the hell is Australia anyway?"- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

* - "You guys have to run a little more than full speed out there."- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

* - "You guys line up alphabetically by height."- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

* - "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

* - "You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."- Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

* - I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing." - Baby Spice of the Spice Girls

* - "Any person who shall lead or drive a bear upon any highway shall be fined not more than $50."- Connecticut General Statutes, Section 6215

* - "As Deng's health is now failing, many matters have been passed to Wan Li, who despite his age is still alive."- company report, China Inc.

* - "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

* - "Everything that can be invented has been invented."- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

* - "Football players win football games."- Chuck Knox, football coach

* - "I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

* - "If you walk backwards, you'll find out that you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going."- Casey Stengel, former baseball player/manager

* - "Inbreeding is how we get championship horses."- Carl Gunter, Louisiana state representative, explaining why he was fighting a proposed antiabortion bill that allowed abortion in cases of incest.

* - "It's only puffy when it's swollen."- Charlie Hough, baseball player, describing his broken finger

* - "Lack of brains hinders research."- Columbus Dispatch, Headline

* - "Models are like baseball players. We make a lot of money quickly, but all of a sudden we're 30 years old, we don't have a college education, we're qualified for nothing, and we're used to a very nice lifestyle. The best thing is to marry a movie star."- Cindy Crawford, Supermodel

* - "Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

* - "Most lies about blondes are false."- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

* - "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."- Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.

* - "Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself."- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"

* - "SUPREME COURT RULES THAT MURDERERS SHALL NOT BE ELECTROCUTED TWICE FOR THE SAME CRIME."- Cleveland Daily News, Headline

* - "The team has come along slow but fast."- Casey Stengel, baseball player/manager

* - "These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up."- Chuck Person, NBA basketball player 




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