When a Grand Child is Born......
* Avoid alliteration. Always.
* Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
* Employ the vernacular.
* Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
* Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
* Remember to never split an infinitive.
* Contractions aren't necessary.
* Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
* One should never generalize.
* Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
* Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
* Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
* Be more or less specific.
* Understatement is always best.
* One-word sentences? Eliminate.
* Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
* The passive voice is to be avoided.
* Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
* Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
* Who needs rhetorical questions?
* Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
* Don't never use a double negative.
* capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
* Do not put statements in the negative form.
* Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
* Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
* If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
* A writer must not shift your point of view.
* And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
* Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
* Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
* Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
* If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
* Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
* Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
* Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
* Always pick on the correct idiom.
* The adverb always follows the verb.
* Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.