Jokes & Information

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Some People Quotes

She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the world. She hasn't got the looks, but you can't have everything. -- Jordan (on Victoria Beckham, Posh Spice)

I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair. -- Bette Davis (Cabin in the Cotton, 1932)

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -- Dean Martin

Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband. -- John Parrott

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money. -- Kevin Meaney

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis racket. -- Gary Lineker (during the 2002 World Cup, on Ronaldo)

I am definitely not scared of Mike Tyson. I am at the top of the food chain and he is looking to knock me off. Mike's an arrogant imbecile. He sounds like a cartoon character. -- Lennox Lewis

He'd make a lovely corpse.-- Charles Dickens (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chapter 25)

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees. -- Joan Rivers (on Marie Osmond)