» HOME » CROSSKIT.COM » Jokes / One Liners

CrossKit.com : Jokes/One Liners

Category: Comedians/People
Reader Rating: 0.00
Contributor: admin
Views: 875

Rate This Item





Samuel Goldwyn

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.

Keep a stiff upper chin.

In two words, im possible.

Dont improve it into a flop!

Gentlemen, include me out.

They stayed away in droves.

Lets have some new clichs.

There is a statue of limitation.

Tell them to stand closer apart.

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.

Thats our strongest weak point.

A hospital is no place to be sick.

Modern dancing is old fashioned.

The harder I work the luckier I get.

I read part of it all the way through.

You fail to overlook the crucial point.

I paid too much for it, but its worth it.

I have been laid up with intentional flu.

God makes stars. I just produce them.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

A bachelors life is no life for a single man.

If I look confused its because Im thinking.

What nerve. Not even a modicum of originality.

I had a great idea this morning, but I didnt like it.

Its absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.

True, Ive been a long time making up my mind, but now Im giving you a definite answer. I wont say yes, and I wont say no but Im giving you a definite maybe.

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

I dont care if it doesnt make a nickel. I just want every man, woman, and child in America to see it.

I dont want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.

Pictures are for entertainment, messages should be delivered by Western Union.

Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldnt see it.

If I were in this business only for the business, I wouldnt be in this business.

Give me a couple of years, and Ill make that actress an overnight success.

Why did you name him Sam? Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!

Anyone who would go to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!

Im willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

Color television! Bah, I wont believe it until I see it in black and white.

Put it out of your mind. In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Email this item to a friend

Your email address:
Your friends address:
Recieve updates in your email.    









Submit Your Site To The Web's Top 50 Search Engines for Free!