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"Sober" Drink Toasts

1. ”Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life.”

2. “Here’s to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat.”

3. ”Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

4. “To our sons. “May they have rich fathers and beautiful mothers.”

5. “There are good ships, and there are wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be.”

6. “Here’s to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. His last words were “Drink to me.” Who am I to question genius?”

7. “To our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet.”

8. “Here’s to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; it’s not as sweet as a woman’s lips, but a damn sight more sincere.”

9. “Lift ’em high and drain ’em dry, to the guy who says, “My turn to buy.”

10. ”Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

11. “Here’s to the girls of the American shore, I love but one, I love no more; Since she’s not here to drink her part, I’ll drink her drink with all my heart.”

12. “God, in his goodness, sent the grapes, to cheer both great and small; little fools will drink too much, and great fools none at all.”

13. “There’s many a toast I’d like to say, If I could only think it, so fill your glass to anything, and, thank the Lord, I’ll drink it.”

14. ”We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don’t. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don’t!”

15. “Here’s to a long life and a happy one, a quick death and an easy one, a good man and an honest one, a cold pint… and another one.”

16. “Here’s to honor… hitting honor, getting honor, staying honor… and if you can’t cum in her… cum honor.”

17. “Here is to staying positive and testing negative.”

18. “Gentlemen! To a good selection, no rejection, a strong erection, a clean injection, and no infection!”

19. “To nipples… without them, titties wouldn’t have a point!”

20. “To absent friends.”

21. ”Friends may come and friends may go, but liquor comes to soothe the blow.”

22. “Here’s to those who seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and cannot tell the difference.”

23. ”Out with the old. In with the new. Cheers to the future. And All that we do”

24. “To nights we will never remember, with the friends we will never forget.”

25. “May we be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows we’re dead.”

26. “Here’s to those who wish us well. And those that don’t can go to hell.”

27. “Here’s to a night on the town, new faces all around, taking the time to finally unwind, tonight it’s about to go down!”

28. “To the ones that love us most, and the others who just hate, may we always know the difference when they’re standing in our face.”

29. “Life may throw us punches, and knock us on our ass, real friends are there to ease the pain and somehow make you laugh.”

30. “To Imgur! Full of truth and full of fiction, please raise your glasses to our unbreakable addiction.”