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Courtroom Transcripts

These quotes come from a variety of sources, including:

Humor in the Court by Mary Louise Gilman
More Humor in the Court by Mary Louise Gilman Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal

Q. And where was the location of the accident?
A. Approximately milepost 499.

Q. And where is milepost 499?
A. Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q. Did you blow your horn or anything?
A. After the accident?

Q. Before the accident.
A. Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q. What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A. Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q. Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A. Yes.

Q. Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A. Yes, sir.

Q. What did she say?
A. What disco am I at?

Q. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You, too, were shot in the fracas?
A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

Q. ... and what did he do then?
A. He came home, and next morning he was dead.

Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

Q. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A. The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q. And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A. No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Before or after he died?

Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.

Q. Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q. Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. The victim lived.

Q. What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant?
A. Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that sonofabitch ... and she did!

Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. I should be.
Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
A. Four times.

Q. Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A. I refuse to answer that question.
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A. No.

Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.

Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.

Q. What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A. He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q. And why did that upset you?
A. My name is Susan.

Q. Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A. He didn't offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture.

Q. Are you sexually active?
A. No, I just lie there.

Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

Q. What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A. It indicates intercourse.
Q. Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.

Q. Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A. I went to Europe, Sir.
Q. And you took your new wife?

Q. What is your date of birth?
A. July 15th.
Q. What year?
A. Every year.

Q. Sir, what is your IQ?
A. Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

The Court: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.

Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.

Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
Mr. Brooks: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
A. Oral.
Q. How old are you?
A. Oral.

Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. I could see his head.
Q. And where was his head?
A. Just above his shoulders.

Q. Do you drink when you're on duty?
A. I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

Q. (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

Q. Were you alone or by yourself?

Q. You were there until the time you left, is that true?

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