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When a Grand Child is Born......

* Avoid alliteration. Always.

* Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

* Employ the vernacular.

* Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

* Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

* Remember to never split an infinitive.

* Contractions aren't necessary.

* Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

* One should never generalize.

* Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

* Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

* Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

* Be more or less specific.

* Understatement is always best.

* One-word sentences? Eliminate.

* Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

* The passive voice is to be avoided.

* Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

* Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

* Who needs rhetorical questions?

* Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

* Don't never use a double negative.

* capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

* Do not put statements in the negative form.

* Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

* Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

* If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

* A writer must not shift your point of view.

* And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

* Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

* Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

* Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

* If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

* Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

* Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

* Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

* Always pick on the correct idiom.

* The adverb always follows the verb.

* Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.