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Category: Drunk Jokes
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Famous Drunk Quotes

"I drink therefore I am." ~ W.C. Fields

"I am not a heavy drinker." I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. ~Noel Coward

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." ~Alex Levine

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." ~ George Burns
They took the bar! The whole f#^*king bar! ~Bluto, Animal House

Some men like beer, advertisers have to cater to what we wantand hold on to your corn cob pipe, we like pretty women. Thats why pretty women sell good things and ugly women selltennis rackets. Pretty women carsugly women mini vans. Pretty women make us buy beer and ugly women MAKE US DRINK IT! ~Al Bundy, Married with Children.

You can always retake a class, but you can never relive a party! ~ Drew Naviks

An Alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his doctor. ~Alvan L. Barach

What whiskey will not cure there is no cure for. ~Irish Proverb

The road to excess leads to the road of wisdom. ~ William Blake

"My dad was the town drunk and most of the time thats not so bad...but, New York City?" ~ Henny Youngman

"Mr Churchill, you are drunk!" Braddock said harshly.
Churchill paused and said, "And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly. I'll be sober in the morning." ~ Sir Winston Churchill

During a television debate against incumbent U.S. Senator Fritz Hollings in 1986, Republican candidate Henry McMaster challenged his opponent to take a drug test.
Ill take a drug test, Hollings responded, if youll take an IQ test. ~Senator Fritz Hollings

Playwright George Bernard Shaw invited Winston Churchill to the first night of his newest play, enclosing two tickets: One for yourself and one for a friend if you have one.
Churchill wrote back, saying he couldnt make it, but could he have tickets for the second night if there is one. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

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