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Hilarious Headlines

You probably don't think things are as bad as some folks say. But, then, take a look the following newspaper headlines before you make up you mind:

* - IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE

* - COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

* - LONDON COUPLE SLAIN: POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

* - RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

* - MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

* - NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

* - ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

* - KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

* - CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY

* - LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

* - HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

* - TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

* - CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

* - SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

* - POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

* - IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

* - IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

* - PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

* - PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

* - TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

* - MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

* - JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

* - WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE