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Women's T-Shirts

* - I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

* - (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.

* - I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

* - AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

* - MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

* - LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

* - I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

* - MAYPORT--A DRINKING TOWN WITH A SAILOR PROBLEM.

* - I NEED SOMEBODY BAD... ARE YOU BAD?

* - PHYSICALLY PFFFFFT!

* - BUCKLE UP. IT MAKES IT HARDER FOR THE ALIENS TO SNATCH YOU FROM YOUR CAR. 12.

* - IT'S MY CAT'S WORLD. I'M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

* - EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

* - KEEP STARING....I MAY DO A TRICK.

* - WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.

* - DANGEROUSLY UNDER-MEDICATED.

* - MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

* - EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY WORD "EXERCISE", I WASH MY MOUTH OUT.WITH CHOCOLATE

* - CATS REGARD PEOPLE AS WARM-BLOODED FURNITURE.

* - LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, THE PREACHER WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL

* - I'M NOT A SNOB. I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.