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Murphy's Laws

* - A $200.00 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.

* - A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

* - A crisis is when you can't say "Lets forget the whole thing".

* - A fool and his money are soon partners.

* - A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and hours are lost.

* - A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.

* - After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

* - An expert is anyone from out of town.

* - An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.

* - Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.

* - Anyone can make a decision given enough facts. A good manager can make a decision without enough facts

* - Anything dropped while working on a car will roll underneath to the exact center.

* - As events transpire as a function of time, tend to move towards a higher state of entropy.

* - Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

* - Don't let your superiors know you are better than they are.

* - Everyone lies, but it doesn't matter, since nobody listens.

* - Everything depends. Nothing is always. Everything is something

* - For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

* - For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.

* - Forgive and remember

* - If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence.

* - If everybody doesn't want it, nobody gets it.

* - If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.

* - If you hit two keys on a keyboard, the one you don't want shows up.

* - If you wait it will go away. If it was bad, it'll come back.

* - Important letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

* - In an organization there is always one person who knows what is going on. This person must get fired.

* - In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.

* - It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.

* - Never create a problem for which you don't have the answer.

* - Never draw what you can copy. Never copy what you can trace. Never trace what you can cut and paste.

* - Never leave the room during a committee formation or you're elected.

* - Never test an error condition you don't know how to handle.

* - No matter what goes wrong, there is always someone who knew it would.

* - Nothing is ever so bad, that it can't get worse.

* - Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune times.

* - Photographer: The best shots are attempted through the lens cap.

* - Photographer: The best shots happen right after the last frame is exposed.

* - Rule for precision: Measure with a micrometer - Mark with chalk - Cut with an axe.

* - Save yourself a lot of worry, don't burn your bridges until you come to them.

* - Science is true. Don't be misled by fact.

* - Simple jobs will always be put off,
because there will be time to do them later.

* - Some errors will always go unnoticed until the program is saved.

* - Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.

* - The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.

* - The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

* - The chances of a piece of bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

* - The cream rises to the top, so does the scum.

* - The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.

* - The item you had your eye on the minute you walk in will be taken by the person in front of you.

* - The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

* - The longer you stand in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
* - The more we complicate the plan, the greater the chance of failure.

* - The person who pays the least, complains the most.
* - The secret to success is sincerity, once you can fake it, you've got it made.
* - The slowest checker is always at the quick check out lane.

* - The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage.

* - The worst or stupidest ideas are always the most popular.

* - There is no time like the present for postponing what you want to do.
* - Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.

* - To pick the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

* - Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

* - What can go wrong, will go wrong

* - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

* - When putting it into memory, remember where you put it.

* - When somebody drops something, everyone will kick it around instead of picking it up.

* - When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

* - Whenever you cut your fingernails, You will need them an hour later.

* - You always find something the last place you look.

* - You can always find what you're not looking for.

* - In order for something to come clean, something else must get dirty.

* - Indecision is the basis for flexibility.

* - Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.

* - Nothing is ever done for the right reason.

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