Jokes & Information

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NBA Quotes

* "This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators." - Dick Vertleib

* "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice

* "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care." - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

* "What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?" - Woody Allen

* "I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA." - Shaquille O'Neal

* "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record in 1992

* "We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors." - Weldon Drew

* "There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket." - Abe Lemons

* "We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line." - Norm Stewart

* "That's a terrible defensive effort by Robert Horry. He didn't even make it difficult for Rasheed Wallace to score."

Snapper: "Well, what do you expect? Earlier you said that Wallace could be one of the best players in the game, and now you want Robert Horry to guard him one-on-one?"

Bill: "No, I said that Rasheed could be the best player in the game." - Bill Walton & Snapper Jones

* "Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody - from any planet!" - Bill Walton

* "I look at the NBA as a football game without the helmet." - Tom Tolbert

* "John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!"

Tom Hammond: "Wow, that's a pretty strong statement. I guess I don't have a good handle on world history."

Bill: "Well Tom, that's because you didn't go to UCLA." - Bill Walton

* "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." - Charles Shackleford

* "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." - Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, on what he told a player who received four F's and one D.

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